I Can Handle Bad Dreams
by Clare Hope
Summary: A biohazard container falls through the Rift from the fiftieth century. The disease contained inside causes fevers, nightmares, and hallucinations. It can't infect most inhabitants of 21st century Cardiff, but Jack Harkness is fair game, and a fair amount of misery ensues. (Warning: Contains possible triggers and description of a character having a panic attack.)


"It's a biohazard container," Jack informed his team, swivelling his desk chair slightly from side to side.

"What-you can read that? Without running it through a translator?" inquired Gwen, standing on the other side of Jack's desk.

Captain Jack Harkness looked up from the small container sealed inside a plastic bag. "Uh-huh. It's in a language I've known for a very long time." He glanced back down. "It's been awhile since I've read it...this could take a minute for me to-Oh, shoot."

"What's wrong?" demanded Ianto. "What is it? 'Oh, shoot' generally isn't good."

Jack grimaced. "When it says biohazard, it really means biohazard. This contains an extremely deadly virus that ravaged the human race in the late forty-ninth through early fifty-first century, all across the galaxy." Gwen and Ianto took a couple paces back. "Don't worry, it can't infect you two," Jack hastened to reassure them. "It isn't able to get into your cells, it evolved alongside humans, so it's specialized towards humans with cell structure from that time period. So, as it is, it isn't any danger to you or the rest of the human race. But if any of it ever escapes, it could start its evolution process several thousand years early. It might take a couple hundred years, but the contents of this little container could wipe out the human race."

Ianto stepped back towards Jack tentatively. "But it could infect you, then."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to let it," stated Jack calmly. "We'll dispose of it, and it'll be fine."

"How do we get rid of it?" asked Gwen.

"Incineration should do the trick." Jack stood up. "Care to accompany me?"

They had followed every procedure, taken every precaution with the deadly container. But somehow, inside the incinerator, the container burst.

Alarms began to sound. The incinerator door flap, which should have been completely sealed, sprang open. The noxious scent of burning plastic filled the air.

"Damn it!" Jack shouted. He pulled his shirt collar up so it covered his mouth and nose. "Out, out, out, you two! Get!" he cried, muffled. "Lockdown, now! Use the airlock flows to keep this air in here." He tried to hold his breath, but it was too late, and the disease had already found its way into his lungs.

Gwen and Ianto, coughing at the smell, ran off to do as Jack asked. Jack followed behind them. The whoosh of the airlock flow, an ingenious invention that could keep any section of the underground base's air cut off from the rest, activated suddenly and then the Hub went into lockdown.

As soon as they had made it safe enough, Ianto and Gwen rushed back down to Jack. He was stumbling slowly into the main space of the Hub.

"Jack, Jack, are you okay?" Ianto asked.

Jack sort of shook his head, and began to sink down to the ground. Ianto caught him. "The disease acts...very fast," Jack told them. Gwen helped Ianto hold Jack upright.

"Come on, let's get you sitting down," she suggested. "Okay?"

"Yeah…" Jack let them help him all the way over to his office and down into the tiny living quarters he had underneath his workspace. He collapsed gratefully onto the bed, sitting up but leaning back on the wall. Gwen helpfully turned the light on, and Ianto sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Alright, Jack, can you tell us how to help?" Ianto requested. "Jack?"

Jack blinked a couple times. "Um…"

"What're the symptoms of this illness? How do we deal with them? Jack, focus, please," the Welshman said. "Jack?"

"I don't...remember exactly…It's a...fever sort of thing."

Immediately, Ianto reached over to press his hand against Jack's forehead. "Jack, you're burning up already."

"Really? I'm-" Jack coughed painfully. "Freezing," he managed. And indeed, he was shivering.

"No, no, you're way too warm, Jack, we're going to have to bring your temperature down," Ianto told him firmly. "Gwen, could you…?" He looked at her pleadingly.

"On it," she said, and darted up to get some cool water.

"Jack, look at me, okay? What other symptoms?" pressed Ianto.

"Uhh…" Jack shut his eyes tightly, trying to concentrate. His face was gaining a pale, unhealthy looking pallor. He slipped down a couple inches against the wall. Ianto took one of his hands and squeezed gently. "It's...um...hallucinations and n-nightmares, fever, cough sort of thing, and it's f-fatal," he listed, a tremble entering his voice. "Ugh, I don't wanna d-do this today."

"I'm good with nightmares, you know that." Jack didn't acknowledge him. Ianto sighed. "Okay, okay, it's going to be okay," he murmured. "Jack, hey, okay. Here." Ianto propped Jack up for a second to slip his blue-grey greatcoat off, and set it carefully across the bare bedside table. "Come on, let's see if we can get you into something more comfortable before Gwen gets back with the water."

A couple minutes later, Gwen climbed back down into Jack's living space to find him curled up on the bed in his undershirt and a pair of sweatpants. Ianto was trying to convince him that he didn't need blankets.

"Jack, please listen, we need to lower your temperature, not bring it up," Ianto pleaded.

"Ianto, I've got water and a washcloth. Plus a glass of water if he wants it." Gwen told him.

"Great, put it on the bedside table...oh, the coat's there. Um, could you put the coat on the chair over there? Sorry to ask," Ianto apologized unnecessarily.

"Ianto, love, don't worry about it. Anything else I can do?" Gwen asked, looking sympathetically at Jack.

"I don't think we really can, from what Jack's been saying. It's going to be fatal. But until then, Jack thinks it'll probably be a miserable half a day or so."

"T-to say the least," Jack muttered, and then coughed harshly several times. "Owwww…"

"Take it easy, Jack," Ianto whispered. To Gwen, he said, "You should sit with us. I think we'll be glad of the company."

"Wouldn't dream of leaving, if it's alright with you two," Gwen checked hesitantly.

"Absolutely."

Gwen took the chair that wasn't currently occupied by the coat and pulled it over to the bedside.

Jack was still shivering violently. "Ianto, I'm c-cold," he whimpered, curling closer to Ianto.

"Yeah, I know, and I'm really sorry for this." Ianto took the cloth Gwen had brought and soaked it in the pitcher of water. He wrung out the excess and placed the cloth onto Jack's forehead. Jack cried out in protest, trying to wriggle away from the cold water. "No, no, shh, Jack," Ianto told him gently. "Jack, listen. I'm helping, I promise."

Jack didn't say anything else. He just let Ianto continue to wash off his face and neck and tried not to pull away. Gwen began stroking his hair back from his face, and Ianto shot her a grateful look. Jack seemed to calm down a bit more after that, or maybe his systems were just getting too weak to struggle.

The water didn't appear to be doing anything. Jack's temperature wasn't going down at all-in fact, it still seemed to be rising. "Jack, you with us?" Ianto asked.

Barely audibly, Jack responded. "Mmhmm."

"Okay, good. That's good, Jack. Just stay with us." Ianto put aside the wet cloth. "This isn't doing anything," he said to Gwen quietly. "I don't think there's anything we can do other than just wait."

"What other symptoms did he say there were?" Gwen wondered.

"The one I'm most worried about is hallucinations," Ianto informed her. "We're already seeing the fever and the cough he mentioned to me, but I've no idea what sort of hallucinations he'll get or how vivid they'll be. Jack?"

Jack didn't say anything. He breathed shallowly, lying completely still.

Gwen paused, reluctant to say what was in her mind.

Ianto noticed her look. "What's up?"

Hesitantly, Gwen answered. "There...there is...another option, Ianto."

Ianto shook his head immediately.

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it."

"Gwen, it's not an option. I realize it could maybe save him a lot of suffering, but could either of us actually do it?"

She sighed. "No."

"Right. So we just wait."

Suddenly, Jack let out a cry. His eyes were moving rapidly under his eyelids and he pressed down on the mattress with his hands, tossing about fitfully.

"Jack!" called Ianto. The young man stood up and tried to keep Jack still. "Jack, hey, calm down, everything's fine," he tried to reassure.

Jack was breathing quickly and shallowly. His skin was pasty white except for his cheeks flushed with fever. "N-no," he gasped. "No!"

"Jack, what is it?" Gwen asked. She took one of his hands, but he didn't show any sign that he knew she had.

"Oh...p-please, no!" Jack twisted his head from side to side. "Please!"

"Ianto, what's happening?" Gwen cried.

"This is probably what he meant by hallucinations."

"What do you suppose he's seeing?"

"I don't-" Ianto was cut off by another cry from Jack.

"No!" The captain was whimpering now. "Please...please just...don't…" He had given up struggling and was completely limp again.

Ianto sat back down. "Jack. Listen, okay? You're safe. Gwen and I are right here. I don't know if you can hear me, but I hope you can. I'm right here, Jack, what you're seeing isn't real."

Jack didn't seem to have heard him, and was rambling again. "I d-didn't th-think. P-please, I…" he stuttered. "N-n-no, please! I c-can't, no. It w-wasn't my fault, I-no, I s-swear."

"What wasn't your fault, Jack?" Gwen asked.

"I don't think he can hear us anymore, Gwen," Ianto said regretfully.

"I didn't want any o-of th-them to d-die, it had n-n-nothing to d-do with th-them, you didn't h-have to hurt them. No, there aren't any more! I'm n-not lying, I'm not! Y-you can hurt m-me as much as you w-want, I'm n-not going to...NO!"

Gwen's eyes were wide. "Ianto, what's he talking about...Ianto?"

"I think I know," whispered Ianto. "Do you remember when he left awhile back to be with the Doctor?"

"Yeah."

"A lot happened there that you don't know about."

Gwen was surprised. "And you do?"

"He told me about some of it," replied Ianto. He wasn't sure if he was betraying Jack's confidence by telling Gwen about this, but he kept talking. "There was a year that...well, I don't really understand all of it, but there was a year that he lived through where a lot of bad stuff happened in the world. They managed to reverse it, but he still remembers all of it. An evil person got control of the Earth, and he had Jack locked up and tortured. We...you and me and Tosh and Owen were found by the people who had Jack, and we were taken and killed in front of him in an attempt to break him."

"And...what, they reversed time?"

"Something like that," Ianto affirmed. "So it never really happened. But Jack obviously remembers it like it did." Ianto cupped his hand around the side of Jack's face, stroking with his thumb. "There, it's okay," he whispered. Jack quieted, but his eyes still flickered around under his eyelids. For a second, Ianto wondered if that was how he himself looked during a nightmare, and recalled all of the times he had woken up in a panic after dreaming about Canary Wharf. Then he reminded himself not to think of that.

 _Flashes of color and snapshots of sound combined with fleeting instants of sensation flooded across the darkness in tiny snippets. Blood smears on the stairs and a whispered farewell. A man's face, smirking from above. The plunk of a ring dropping onto his chest, and the terrible agony of suffocation over and over and over. Further back, memories continued to surface, death after death, loss after loss..._

Things were quiet for another few hours. Then Gwen asked quietly, "Ianto, should I go get something for us to eat? We're going to be here for a while."

"Sure," Ianto responded.

"What would you like?"

"Don't really care."

Gwen stood up carefully. "Okay, love. I'll be back soon."

"Isn't it night?" Ianto wondered suddenly.

"It's 11:30, yeah," Gwen told him.

"Oh...okay. You should probably let Rhys know that you're going to be awhile," suggested Ianto.

"You're absolutely right. I almost forgot. Thanks." Gwen left.

Ianto could feel his eyelids drooping. Then he was startled back into wakefulness by a whimper from Jack. "Jack?"

"I-Ianto…" Jack breathed.

Ianto was instantly attentive. "Right here, Jack, hey, I'm right here."

Jack's eyes fluttered open. They were bright with fever and unfocused. "H-hey." Ianto smiled at him.

"Hey. How're you doing? You with me?"

"'m tired."

"I know."

"Wh'rs Gwen?" Jack wondered.

"She just went out to get us something to eat. You've been out for several hours. You were dreaming," added Ianto. "What was it about?"

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"That's fine," Ianto let him know. "That's okay. Do you want anything?"

Jack shook his head, then groaned. "Oww."

"Do you think you could drink some water?"

"M-maybe." Jack let Ianto help him sit up and leaned heavily on his young lover.

"I've got you." Ianto handed him the glass that Gwen had brought earlier and made sure that Jack's trembling hands could hold it steadily enough. After one sip, Jack burst into a fit of coughing. His whole body was racked with it. Ianto took the glass and quickly put it back on the small table. Then, he pressed one hand to Jack's chest and the other to his back, holding him steady. "It's okay, it's alright," Ianto murmured soothingly.

After a minute, Jack stopped coughing. He was shaking uncontrollably, and he put his head weakly onto Ianto's shoulder. "Sorry."

"It's okay. How are you doing?"

"Awful."

Ianto put his arm around Jack. "I know. I know. Everything's going to be okay, Jack."

"I'm dying."

"And I'll be here when you come back. Hear?"

Jack didn't answer directly. "Ianto…?

"Yeah, I'm right here, what is it?"

"I w-was thinking about...maybe...this is g-gonna kill me anyway...maybe it w-would be better if…"

"Are you asking me to?" Ianto asked warily.

Jack hesitated. "I c-can't ask you to do th-that. I don't really w-want to, anyway, it w-was just a th-thought." He shivered.

The young Welshman pressed his forehead to Jack's hairline. He slipped his arm around Jack's waist, and the captain leaned against his chest. "Okay. Everything's fine."

"Thank you…"

"Jack?"

"'m still awake."

"How long do you think this is going to take?" Ianto asked carefully.

"Not much longer...if I r-remember right. Th-the hallucinations and dreams k-keep getting w-worse, then the b-brain st-stops working." Jack's trembling, which had subsided slightly, came back even worse than before.

"Right, okay," Ianto said. "Is there anything else we can do?"

"St-stay here?" Jack requested weakly.

"Of course, hey, wouldn't think of leaving."

"Promise?" Jack was slipping back out of reality. "P-please don't go."

Ianto let him lie down again. "I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

"C-c-cold."

The young man snuggled down next to the captain, wrapping his arms around him. "Better?" Ianto whispered.

"Yeah…" Jack's voice trailed off, but he continued to mumble things that didn't make any sense, most likely due to the fever. "Watch out f-for the music, it's t-too bright...Ianto."

"On it."

"Sure?"

"Absolutely."

"But the door is open."

"I'm aware."

"Oh...good. And you're safe?"

"Of course I'm safe. Shh, Jack. Sleep." Ianto kissed the back of Jack's head as the captain drifted off again. Ianto felt his own eyes closing again, and this time nothing interrupted his falling asleep.

When Gwen returned a short while later, laden with sandwiches and café coffee (not as good as when Ianto made it, but decent enough), and saw a sleeping Ianto curled around Jack, she silently put the food she had brought for Ianto onto the bedside table, ate hers, and then sat down on the floor. She leaned against the bedframe, and soon she was asleep as well.

A strange, strangled sounding gasp woke both Gwen and Ianto a few hours later.

"Jack!" Ianto cried. He pushed himself into a sitting position. Gwen sprang to her feet.

Jack's mouth was partially open. His breathing sounded forced and labored. A drop of blood stood out as a bright red bead on his too-pale bottom lip.

Ianto felt a jolt of fear. "Wake up. Jack, come on, wake up."

Jack cried out hoarsely. Without waking up, he coughed and more blood could be seen on his lips. He writhed weakly.

Even though they knew that soon enough, Jack would die and come back and be fine, Gwen and Ianto could hardly bear seeing their strong leader like this.

"Jack, hey, hey, wake up, sweetheart," Gwen begged. Jack's eyes opened painfully as he dragged himself into wakefulness.

Ianto grabbed Jack's hand. "Jack, you with us? What's wrong? How can we help?"

"C-c-can't b-breathe," Jack managed. "I-It...h-hurts."

"C'mere, sit up, sit up, come on," said Ianto quickly. He and Gwen pulled Jack into a sitting position as he took too-shallow breaths.

"'s dark," gasped Jack.

"No, it isn't," Ianto replied, confused. "We've got the lights all on-Jack?"

The captain wasn't responding to either of them. He was seeing something entirely different. "D-didn't even t-try, m-my own f-fault, I let go, I'm so sorry, so so sorry, 'm sorry, p-please forgive me, didn't mean to." He began coughing and crying at the same time.

"Oh, sweetheart!" Gwen cried. She didn't know what to do.

"I think he thinks he's talking to his brother," said Ianto in a hushed voice. He was sitting next to Jack, rubbing his back gently. "When he got buried. Jack, please look at me, focus on me," he added. "Come back. It's just a nightmare. I'm right here. Come here." Ianto pulled Jack close to him, and the captain snapped back to reality to fall into his embrace. "There you go. I've got you."

"Ianto," Jack whimpered.

Ianto rocked him back and forth. "It's okay, it's okay. It wasn't real. You can breathe, it's okay. You're not there anymore. It's alright. Shh, there, shh."

"How did you..." Gwen started. She was sitting down in the chair she had been in earlier now that Jack was a bit calmer.

"I've had practice," Ianto responded simply. "A nightmare's a nightmare, and Jack's Jack. Illness or no, I can handle bad dreams." His hand was buried in Jack's hair. "That's all it was," he whispered. "Just a bad dream. You're okay." Ianto kissed the top of his head. "Got you."

"I thought," Jack began, but couldn't say anything else. He was sobbing now.

"Right, okay," soothed Ianto. "Shh, don't cry. You're in the Hub, with me, and Gwen, and you're safe. There's air, see? Okay. Shh, just breathe. That's it. Alright, let's move back a little, okay? Okay. Come on, that's it." Ianto shifted them both back so he was leaning into the corner and Jack was leaning on him. Ianto took the mostly forgotten cloth off the table to wash first the tears and then the spatter of blood away. "That's a bit better, hmm?"

Jack was clinging to the front of Ianto's shirt with one hand, his head resting on Ianto's shoulder. "I guess…" he murmured. "Th-thanks. 'm sorry…"

"It's _fine_. Really. It's what I'm here for right now. Go back to sleep, Jack. It's okay. It's going to be over soon."

"Don't want to die."

"I know, I know. I don't want you to, either, but we both know it's happening and we both know you're coming back, and everything's going to be fine, I promise, you just need to be brave for me for a little while longer. Okay?"

"I'm tired of being brave," Jack said, his voice breaking. "I'm j-just so tired."

"Shh, I know. Shh. You know what? You don't have to be brave right now. I take it back. It's our turn to take care of you, Jack." Ianto stretched out a hand towards Gwen and tugged her up next to them, motioning for her to sit on the other side of Jack. She put her arm around him. "See? Gwen and I've got you. You don't have to be brave."

"I'm s-sorry about all th-this," Jack muttered. "I d-don't mean to b-be so…" He couldn't find the word to finish his sentence, and he shook with a sob that turned into a harsh cough. "My own d-damn fault," he said as soon as he could.

Gwen squeezed his shoulder gently. "None of it is your fault, darling," she reassured him.

"If I w-wasn't so c-careless w-w-with the c-container."

"Whoa, hey, you weren't being careless. I was there, you were taking every precaution. That's just not enough sometimes."

"B-but you t-two have to t-t-ta...t-t-t-" Jack's speech was getting worse. "I-I-Ianto, G-Gwen, I d-d-don't th-th-think I'm g-gonna las' m-much longer." His breathing quickened. It sounded raspy and strained.

"Alright, it's alright," Gwen told him.

Suddenly, Jack cried out and convulsed, throwing off his friends' arms. "B-back!" he shouted. "B-both of you, p-please, st-stand up, I-" Ianto and Gwen scrambled back as Jack writhed about. He was making a continuous, pained sound. After a few seconds, he ended up curled up on his side with his arms wrapped tightly around his stomach.

Then he went limp.

"Jack?" Ianto said tentatively. Jack made no movement to show he had heard. Ianto stepped back towards the bed and touched Jack's arm gently. He slid his hand down to Jack's wrist to check the pulse, and then turned back to Gwen, watching wide-eyed. "Gone."

"I can't tell whether this is a good or bad thing right now," she said truthfully.

"He'll be okay when he wakes up," Ianto replied confidently.

"Will he?"

Without missing a beat, Ianto answered, "Probably not, but don't let him know you know."

Gwen had to smile. "Oh, yeah, I understand. Do you want to be alone when he comes back?"

"No, you can stay," Ianto said, trying not to hesitate.

"Ianto, love. I'm being serious. If it was Rhys, I'd-"

"It's not like that!"

"Shut up, of course it isn't. But you love him. Not that I don't, but not like you. Of course not. You're the one who knows what to do when he has a nightmare, you're the one his eyes seek out right before he dies and the first one he looks for when he comes back. He won't talk like he needs to if I'm here, and he will if it's just you. And I'm not saying any of this because I'm bitter or anything like that, but because you two are my friends and I just want you to be okay. Okay? I'm going to go home. Call me sometime after Jack wakes up, and I'll be here tomorrow morning. Well, it's already morning, isn't it? I'll be back after I've caught some sleep, or if there's a Rift emergency. See you tomorrow." And without allowing the taken-aback Ianto to think of something to reply, she left.

"See you tomorrow," Ianto called after her when he had recovered from her speech, but she was already out of earshot. He frowned slightly, a confused expression playing across his face. "Right. Um. Okay, then." He sat down in the chair Gwen had left vacant to wait for Jack.

It took a couple hours for Jack to wake up, and Ianto found himself drifting off. He was just on the edge of a dream when a slight gasp jolted him awake. Jack was sitting up slowly, looking slightly confused. Ianto was startled but relieved that the captain's resurrection wasn't as violent as he had expected it to be.

"Jack?" Ianto asked quietly.

Jack blinked a couple of times. "Hey…"

Ianto waited for a second, expecting Jack to say more than that. "How're you doing?" he prompted.

Jack winced, rubbing the top of his head. "I'm...okay. Sort of...my head hurts. What happened, exactly?"

"Can't remember much?" queried Ianto.

"Uh...bits and pieces. What time is it?"

"Half-past four."

"Uh-huh. AM or PM?"

Ianto had to laugh a little. "AM."

Jack looked a bit sheepish. "I kept you up."

" _That's_ what you're concerned about?" Ianto teased lightly. Jack glanced down, looking a bit hurt. Ianto smiled, so glad to have his Jack back. He hopped over onto the bed and held out his arms. Jack accepted the embrace quickly. "Hmm," murmured Ianto. "Tell you what. You can make it up to me."

"Now?"

Ianto paused, considering. "No, right now I'm going to sleep. I'd accept a kiss, though."

Jack kissed him.

"One more?" requested Ianto. His lover kissed him again, longer this time. Ianto was about to ask for another when he yawned widely. "Okay," he said resignedly. "Put some clean pajamas on and throw these away. I don't want you getting sick again. I'll change the sheets."

"Sounds good." Jack stood up unsteadily.

"Careful, you. I don't want you falling and hurting yourself,either. That would require me patching you up, and I've done enough of that for one day," Ianto told him, only half-joking.

"I'm being careful."

"Good." After searching for at least twenty minutes for a set of sheets that would fit on Jack's bed, Ianto returned tiredly to the bedroom. Jack had gotten rid of the clothes he had been wearing and was sitting on the bed wearing nothing but his boxers, eyes closed, nodding off. Ianto rolled his eyes. "Jack…"

"What?"

"Get off the bloody bed, I have to put the sheets on."

"I'm too tired."

"You're too tired? Good, me too. Stand up."

Sighing, Jack stood up and let Ianto make the bed. As soon as the Welshman stepped back, Jack collapsed onto the bed. Ianto found some pajamas of his own that he had left a while back and changed. He flicked the light off and crawled into bed beside Jack.

 _It felt like the world was ending. Everything smelt of metal and fire and the only sounds that could be heard were the screams of the dying and the terrible cries of EXTERMINATE and DELETE. Ianto knew he was going to die, was going to die very, very soon, and nothing could save him. Oh, God, where was Lisa? He was going to die, or worse, get turned into a cold, unfeeling metal monster, all alone…_

"Ianto? Hey, hey, wake up!" someone was calling, urgently but gently.

Ianto cried out, sitting bolt upright in the darkness. "Jack!" he exclaimed.

"Right here. What's wrong? Hey, hey, talk to me, what was it?" the captain asked, placing his hands on Ianto's shoulders.

"I...It was...oh, God, it felt so real, again, it hasn't been this bad in ages, Jack, I…"

"Sh**! Are you feeling ill?" Jack quickly pressed his hand to the side of Ianto's face, checking for any signs of fever.

"N-no, I didn't catch what you had, it was just...something must have triggered it, it was Canary Wharf, Jack, I just…" Ianto was shivering, breathing too quickly.

"Okay," Jack murmured. "It's fine. Come here, my turn, come here."

"Y-your turn?" Ianto asked, but practically melted into Jack's arms before the captain had a chance to clarify.

Jack held him close. "My turn to do this for you. You okay?"

"N-no."

"That's fine, I've got you."

"Jack, I, I'm…" Ianto was shaking so hard he could barely get the words out.

Concerned, Jack reached over with one hand while still holding Ianto with the other and switched the light on. He took one glance at Ianto's pale, tear-streaked face and heard his shallow, catching breaths and realized immediately that the young man was on the edge of a panic attack. "Whoa, okay, shh, Ianto," he said.

"Jack, J-Jack, I…." Ianto's sob caught in his throat.

"Hey, hey, shh. Can I help? Tell me how to help, Ianto."

"I d-don't kn-know, j-just…" The young man doubled over with a panicked sob. He kept remembering the battle, the screams, the dying... _I'm going to die, I'm going to..._ Then, hands that made him sit up again pulled him back into the present.

"Ianto? Ianto, you're scaring me!" Jack said worriedly. Ianto was shaking, barely able to hold himself up. "Ianto? Shh, shh. You're safe, I've got you."

"Y-yes, I kn-know I am, s-sorry, I, I'm okay, r-really, j-just-" Ianto couldn't continue, choosing instead to let himself fall into Jack's arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whimpered.

"Don't be, hey, I've got you." Jack kissed Ianto's forehead. Ianto shook with another sob, and Jack gripped his shoulders again, sitting him up so he could meet the young man's eyes. "Deep breath, okay? Deep breath, look at me, it's okay, you're safe, not there anymore, you're here with me. Just breathe, baby, it's okay." Jack wiped the tears off Ianto's face with his thumbs. "Shh, shhhh."

Ianto's breathing was coming in ragged gasps now as he desperately tried to pull himself together. "I was s-so, so scared, Jack."

"I know, I know, I know, shh, come on, deep breaths. Calm down, it's fine, it's all fine, everything's going to be okay. That's right," Jack added encouragingly as Ianto tried to slow his breathing. "Yep, good job, Ianto, that's it. It's alright, it's alright, I'm right here. Shh." He started humming something, a long-forgotten lullaby from when he had been a child. The tune was slow and comforting and Ianto began calming down.

"Thank you," whispered Ianto when he had caught his breath. "That hasn't happened in s-so long, I didn't remember exactly how…Anyway, thank you, Jack."

"Are you okay now?" Jack checked.

"Better...thank you."

Jack hid a sad smile. "You're very welcome. Come here, come here, let's turn off the lights, okay? Can I do that?"

"Yeah, that's fine." In darkness again, Ianto could feel himself starting to tremble once more. He reached for Jack blindly, who caught his hand and tugged the younger man over so his back was pressed to Jack's chest. They laid down again. Jack's arms wrapped around Ianto's torso, one hand pressed to the Welshman's heart. Jack could feel it beating, far too quickly at first, but gradually slowing to a safer rate.

"You know, Ianto, that's one thing we have in common," Jack murmured.

"What's that?" Ianto replied softly, expecting Jack to respond with something sappily unnecessary.

"We can both handle bad dreams," answered Jack, echoing Ianto's earlier words.

"Well, we can handle the other's."

"That's enough, isn't it?"

"Most of the time." Ianto paused. He knew they were both thinking about the times when they didn't have each other, and of the countless years in the future when Jack wouldn't have him sleeping nearby. "It's enough for now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Well, morning. Oh, who cares. Sweet dreams."

* * *

 _This is apparently what happens when I am avoiding responsibility. Apologies for the shameless hurt/comfort, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Thank you for reading and reviewing (please?) and I hope that no matter if you're having a good or bad day, it gets better! I love you!_

 _~Clare_


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